(…a re-post of my thoughts on the morning of my most recent birthday in late 2018….)
I woke up early this morning with lots on my mind, like most mornings. Meditating before rising, I thought about my most recent journey around the sun, and I could not be more proud.
The past year has brought me great FOCUS. I make goals, write them down, adjust, and I know what is important to me. With such clarity, the other stuff just melts away. I’m particularly more focused than ever at work. Post-2016-election, I realized I needed to go deep with what has always been in my heart. My work has become truly my passion. I no longer back down when I’m shut down, like I used to. Recently, I cried thinking about the 20 years I have endured sexism and demoralization in my work, thinking I had “wasted” all that time. These past two decades have not been wasted, they just give me more focus, clarity, and determination than ever.
The past year has brought me great COURAGE. I am publishing and stating my goals – personal and professional. I hate to commit to goals for fear of failure. I have so many priorities in my life, that I’m never sure if I will allow myself the space to accomplish the goals, but – with the greater focus – I feel like I be brave and own my goals. I ran two 5Ks at a sub-7 pace this year. YES! That has been my goal, to break that 7-minute-mile barrier. This year, I’d like to do a real 5K or 10K race at sub 7s. This courage has also made me loud and proud. I have to say big things to big institutions, and I really have to dig deep to say what needs to be said, loud and clear.
This past year has brought me great HUMILITY. There are things that I have left undone. There have been failures, where I have had to readjust, reassess, reevaluate. I am far from immortal. I take suggestion and critique seriously. I am not too great to be wrong. Earlier this year, in my work, I had to really check my ego at the door to get some things done the right way. I am also listening more – in the communities where I work – and I am accepting of my limitations, privilege and elitism. I always want to grow. There is always better.
This is long, but I want all of you to know that you have your part in making me who I am. I love hearing from you, seeing you all in various cities, keeping in touch, sharing bottles of wine. The best is having my own family – especially my one-and-only – always here to lift me up, support me, and watch me grow.
Thank you, everyone! And, now, back to work!