At the end of a long day, working either inside the home or out, managing schedules, laundry, meals, emotions, tantrums, relationships, and more, we all deserve a treat. Back in the day, it was Calgon. “Calgon: take me away!” My mom’s treat was watching Dynasty in peace and quiet…. while folding a mountain of laundry.
For me, it has long been a glass (or two or three) of wine. It is a true treat: fancy and frivolous. I know many mamas without even a moment to rest, let alone enjoy a glass of an expensive beverage.
Well: this is me. This is my treat. It dulls the crazy, it fills me up, and it readies me for my catch-up time with the older kids or my husband. When one glass turns into two or three, I usually resort to konking out on the couch from the chaos of the day-to-day circus that is our household. In the morning, I wake up to all the things I forgot to do, or just didn’t do because I was too busy enjoying my treats. I might even feel “dehydrated”, not really at 100% to conquer another day of juggling jobs or kids, meals or errands. When my dear friend finally bit the bullet and said: “I’m not drinking anymore”, I paused and thought: “That makes a lot of sense!”
At the same time it didn’t. For as much as we sacrifice, we all deserve a splurge. Right?
When the splurge has side-effects that keep me from coming back at 100%, I thought long and hard about it. And, I followed in suit. I knew in my heart of hearts, it might be good for me too.
The week I decided to stop mid-week treats, a friend texted me from the new local bar. “Come out and have a drink with us; it’s my sister’s birthday!” I agreed. I came over in my pajamas, and I watched the group drink some mescal mojitos. I actually also ordered one, but I noticed that I didn’t really want it!
The next day, a friend told me to come over. He wanted to give me some maps for our summer vacation. I took the kids and we dropped by, just after dinner. They were finishing their dinner wine, and he said, “Come on! I’ll pour you some wine.” I let him, and I watched the huge pour of pinot grigio sit there and go from cold and crisp to warm and soggy. I just didn’t want it.
At a work networking event that I co-hosted with another woman, my co-host asked me “you’re not drinking?”. As unusual as it seemed, for me especially, I said, “Hm. I guess I’m not!” I was going to, but I just didn’t feel like it!
Increasingly, I am finding more ways to unwind in the evening, mostly I’m spending that time goofing off with the kids, rough-housing, playing monopoly. Somehow, this has redirected my energy to where it wanted to go all along. I feel great, happy, content. And, lucky for me, I can still enjoy my treats when I want – every so often during the week, and usually over the weekend. Right now, I’m just enjoying how I can control how much control my splurges have over me.